IT’S JUST A BAD DAY, NOT A BAD LIFE…

The amount of times this week I have had to quietly remind myself it’s just a bad day, not a bad life is unbelievable. It’s probably been more of a bad week but I always know that I make it through to the other side. I’ve decided to talk about my bad day/week to reassure all you mumma’s that you are not alone! We all have these days and sometimes reading about others going through the same or similar things, is all you need for reassurance to feel a bit better about yourself and that you will come out on the other side.

This mum gig can get pretty challenging at times and I am sure I’m not the only one who questions my parenting choices sometimes, right? For the most part, Harlee-Jae has been an awesome baby except the first four months – they were really, really hard. I know plenty of mums struggle with that first four months and hey, look at us we did make it in the end but now we have hit eight months and she has just started teething really bad and it’s taken its toll on myself and her.

This week has consisted of teething – which has come with the added bonuses of a clingy baby who does not believe in sleeping. It has been hard work after having a solid 11 hour sleeper for the last three to four months. My body has gone into shock and is not use to being woken five or more times a night. I know what you are all thinking ‘suck it up because you will have a baby again soon’. Well yes I am well aware of this.  I don’t know about you guys but it’s just different when you have a new born and get up every four hours, your body just adjusts and you do it. However, this week has been tough and I am feeling extremely unmotivated! Everything has felt so hard, from cleaning to even just getting up in the morning and hey cold mother f’ing weather, you haven’t helped either!

Harlee has cut her two bottom teeth so, yay! We are nearly at the end of teething… for now – Hah! However the hard yards aren’t over. Teething has put my perfect little routine baby out of whack and I’m sitting here questioning where I have gone wrong. Let’s be honest it’s a pretty shit feeling as a mum when you feel like you’ve failed. I was doing so well, I sleep trained her, taught her how to self-settle, got her into a strict daily routine and that worked so well for us. And I did it all on my own, but this left me feeling like the only person I have to blame for my not sleeping, clingy, grizzly and not eating baby, was myself.

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On top of all these emotions, I’m creeping slowly toward the third trimester. I’m not going to lie, I am terrified. I feel so bloody unorganised for this baby and this week has not only reminded me, but it has also made me extremely unmotivated. I won’t say too much about this as it is better for another blog but with Harlee – I hated being pregnant and all the reasons I hated being pregnant are creeping back with this pregnancy. Let me just say pregnancy just isn’t for me but it is all worth it! Ben has also been on nightshift and although this sounds like a stupid reason, it takes it’s toll! Mostly because I cannot sleep when he is not at home. It takes a massive toll on his body clock also, leaving me to pick up my game with the thing’s he usually helps me with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all complaining because I really do appreciate him working hard so I can be a stay at home mum. However, it does still take it’s toll on me too.

I know a lot of this stuff is just minor and I’m more than aware that there are a lot of people out there who are much worse off than me but it’s amazing how you don’t feel yourself when you’re sleep deprived!

So once you have fallen into this trap, how do you get out you ask? Well the problem is everyone is different and we all have different coping strategies but I am sure a few of my ways may help you, well I hope they do!

I find being a stay at home mum can make the same four walls you stare at everyday almost like a prison – maybe a bit dramatic but you know what I mean hah! For real though, I start going a bit crazy when I feel like I have barely seen Ben (due to nightshift etc) and most of my conversations are one way with Harlee or the dog! So I find even going to visit my mum, which I do like every second day because who doesn’t love seeing there mum hah! However, in all seriousness it’s nice to get out, have some normal adult conversation and not feel so house bound. It may only be for an hour but it helps my sanity. I don’t necessarily have the time to go see friends this often or our schedules clash because they all have lives too, so mum’s house is always a reliable and good option for us! I can go there and just chill, I could go there in my pj’s if I really wanted too! When you are feeling a bit down or just not yourself find your go to person/people and just go have some normal adult time. It may be just what you need.

Cry it out! Feeling a bit emotional? Those god dam hormones continuing to haunt you with their mood changes? Feeling like you could cry at something stupid? Well don’t hold back! Sometimes a little cry is all you need, sometimes it’s not. I’ve always been a crier and I’m not afraid to admit hah. I’m very head strong and will argue my point but I will 95% of the time, guarantee cry! And you know what, most of the time if I’m having a bad day and something little pushes me to cry, it makes me feel better! Crying is normal and it doesn’t make you a bad or unstable person to cry every now and then because sometimes you just need to let it out.

Have a chilled day. Like I said earlier, it is nice to get out of the house but some days it’s nice to just stay home and have you time. Obviously mum duties still call but it’s nice to give myself the ‘day off’. Have a shower, get back in my pj’s. Ditch the house cleaning for a day, no one’s gonna die because I didn’t vacuum or dust the house! Turn on some Netflix and chill! We never put ourselves first as mums, so take a little moment and don’t feel guilty for doing you!

Don’t bottle your feelings up! Talk to someone about it. Have your go to person, the person that is happy to not judge you, just be some friendly ears. I’m lucky to have Ben, I can ramble off whatever and you know what half the time it doesn’t matter if he isn’t even listening, it is just good to vent. Bottling it up is most likely only going to make you feel worse and if anything make you reach boiling point. No mum needs to put that sort of stress on herself!

On a more serious note, if you are like me and know that you are just having a bit of a moment and know you always come through on the better side – that’s awesome! However, there is that one thing no one really likes to discuss, Post Natal Depression. I have been lucky enough to not suffer from this but I really feel for all the mumma’s that do. I cant speak from experience, I can only tell you what I know from what I’ve read and seen. I feel like it is important to make a few possible symptoms known so that if you are not like me and fortunate enough to come out on the better side you can get the help you need.  Remember this can happen to anyone.

SYMPTOMS-

  • Mood – Anger, anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities or panic attacks
  • Whole body – fatigue, loss of appetite or relentlessness
  • Psychological – Depression, fear or repeatedly going over thoughts
  • Behavioural – Crying or irritability
  • Cognitive – Lack of concentration
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Insomnia

If PND is left untreated, it can go on for months or even longer. Treatment can include counselling, antidepressants or hormone therapy. Like I say I haven’t been in this position so I’m strictly going off what I have read and seen, I’m no doctor. If you do think this could be you, please don’t fight it. Go see your doctor and tell them how your feeling and then they can point you in the right direction because you, who may be feeling this way, you are important and you are worth it. Take the next step in the right direction because there is no shame in admitting you need some help, it just proves you are stronger than this and can get through it!

So mums please remember you are a good mum!! If you find yourself questioning your decisions, do not be afraid to take a step back and remind yourself that it is okay to have a bad day. It does not make you any less of a mum or a person, life can be overwhelming at the best of times so when you chuck a little human or two into the mix, it can become extremely hard. You do what is the best for your little families and yourself! You are awesome, you are strong and most of all YOU ARE A GOOD F’ING MUM!

I hope this blog post has been relatable and helpful for at least one of you reading this because this is why I started writing – to help other mums, I would love to help thousands but I would feel accomplished if I make the difference for just one of you. Come back next week to see what is happening on the blog and don’t forget you can keep up with our daily lives on Facebook and Instagram!

Lace xxx

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Labour Uncut – Harlee-Jae’s Birth Story

Labour – the word that the build-up of pregnancy comes too. That long nine months, 40 weeks or 280 days you are pregnant for, all comes down too labour. In this blog I’m hoping to be able to help with some of the many questions that come with labour. I won’t miss any of the glory bits either so beware because this blog isn’t for the faint hearted.

Like most first time mums, I was so ready to meet my little girl by the time 36 weeks had rolled around. Obviously I knew she wasn’t ready to come then but my god, I was. My partner and I were both born two weeks early so as you can imagine I had my fingers crossed my bundle of joy would arrive two weeks early too! Although this was not the case.

39 weeks approached us eventually and I was getting so impatient. So, what is the not so logical thing to do? Of course, it would be to go to good old doctor google for advice on hurrying this baby up – Hah! Well turns out that babies come when they are ready not when they are trying to be coaxed out by their mummas! However, if you are wondering what I tried here’s my list-

* Bouncing on a swiss ball – I have no idea if this helped or just gave Harlee a good little shake up in there.

* Hot spa – I don’t think this made any sort of difference at all!

* Hot butter chicken curry – This was actually just horrible and soooooo dam hot! And still no baby after the misery of trying to eat this – Hah!

* Sex – My midwife actually recommended this. I don’t know about the rest of you but this was not on the top of my to do list when I felt like a beached whale! Apparently sperm helps to soften your cervix to make that lil baby come out!

* Walking – Not too sure if this helped bring her on but part of me thinks it slightly did help with labour but who really knows!

* Red raspberry leaf tea – I hate tea but I managed to force a fair few of these down! I started drinking them maybe two or three days before Harlee came and part of me thinks it helped me have a reasonably quick labour but again, who really knows!

That’s my little run down of what probably didn’t make labour come on but hey it was worth a try, right? Remember I am in no way a medical professional, I am strictly google educated so don’t try anything you are uncomfortable with or ask your midwife before trying things if you’re unsure!

It was Sunday the 11th of September and I woke up having a bit of cramping in my stomach. It wasn’t really at all painful so I just assumed it was braxton hicks contractions and started my day! My good friend was back from Australia at the time so we had planned to go out for breakfast where we all joked ‘imagine if you go into labour today!’ little did we know…

After lunch, Mum, my brother and I took our three dogs for a little photoshoot which actually took like two and a half hours longer than we thought. I sort of mentioned to mum that I thought the pains were happening slightly more often and were a bit more intense but again thought nothing of it and continued our afternoon. Ben was at work and I didn’t want to give him any false alarms so just left it.

Around 4pm I said to mum ‘I think I’m having contractions’. It is so bloody hard to know what is real and what is not the first time round! Mum’s advice was to start timing them just in case.

Now I don’t know about you but in my head I thought labour would happen like the movies – My waters would break and that obviously meant it was time to go to the hospital and my baby would finally come! However, this isn’t quite how it went. I had no idea everyone’s labour could be so different so this best thing to do is follow your gut! If you think it’s time, contact your midwife!

Around 5pm I started losing my mucous plug. What’s your mucous plug I hear you say? If you’re very unaware – like I was, you are most likely asking this question! So basically this is the thing that seals your cervix during pregnancy, it is formed by a small amount of cervical mucous and obviously because your baby is planning on making an appearance, you lose it! Now let me tell you, I thought it was f**king disgusting! Seriously, why did no one tell me this gross stuff happens? But hey I suppose it was only going to get worse! I lost my mucous plug gradually over time and about 9.30pm I lost the remainder of it and all I can say is ew.

I decided to text my midwife and let her know around 6.30pm that I had lost my mucous plug (Well so I thought but actually the bulk and gross-ness was actually still to come). She replied saying this is very common but baby can still be a couple of days away yet and to let her know once I am having contractions every 3-5 minutes.

Ben was due to finish work at 4pm but didn’t finish until 7pm! It was dark and cold but we both weren’t too keen on waiting a couple more days for this baby so what do all smart, 40+ weeks pregnant women do? Go for a 2.5km walk! My contractions were about half an hour apart and were starting to be slightly painful – painful enough to stop me in my tracks on our walk.

We arrived home at around 8pm and I cooked nachos for dinner! My contractions were slowly creeping closer together. They were now about 20 minutes apart and they were definitely painful but I could still tolerate them. They were similar to really bad period cramps.

We were in bed by 9pm to try to get some sleep just in case little miss was going to make for a long night. Ben was absolutely buggered and crashed out straight away! Great support for me, I tell you… Hah! About 10.30pm I woke up Ben and all I got from him was ‘Noooooo, I thought I was meant to get one more full night’s sleep’. Contractions were starting to get very painful and were about 5-10 minutes apart. We packed our hospital bags and drove around to mum’s because we were pretty unsure on what to do.

Mum rang my midwife at 11.30pm and explained my situation. We decided it was best to go for a check-up so off we went to Hawera Maternity at 12.15am.

Contractions were super painful and happening about every 5 minutes. All I wanted to do was lay completely straight and stay completely still. I was put on the monitor for a good 30 minutes to check Harlee was still happy. The midwife was concerned that she was a little bit distressed so they were contemplating sending me to Taranaki Base Hospital (an hour away from where we were).

Before anything else, my midwife decided to do an internal. At this point, it was about 1ish and I was freaking out a bit. I was so scared that I would only be 2cm dilated and would still have a long road of pain ahead but to my surprise as much as the midwife I was 8 and a half centimetres! She reassured me and told me I was doing great and handling the pain really well. However, she did start to mention that we might not make it to New Plymouth now so she would start prepping me here.

As I’m sure I’m not the only one – I was positive I did not want to shit while pushing! And I was so adamant that I needed to take a shit. I tried sooooo many times because I was so afraid! I repeated over and over again, I need to take a shit! Everyone just laughed at me and told me it was the pressure of Harlee’s head! Turns out they were right – Thank god for that, Hah!

I was lucky enough to have the same midwife my mum had a good 17 years ago! She knew my mum’s history of being a bleeder and seriously haemorrhaging when having my siblings and I. She wasn’t willing to take any risks with me so inserted an IV. My veins weren’t playing ball so I had to have it in my inner elbow (I don’t even know if that’s what it is called) and as you can imagine this isn’t a great place when pushing and moving your arms.

My contractions were about every 2 minutes but it felt like they were constant and never going away. I demanded gas because the pain was so intense. I tried it but I couldn’t figure out how to breathe and suck on the gas so ended up chucking it away.

I had planned to have Ben and my mum in the room. There was talk of the possibility that I was going to Taranaki Base Hospital. Mum rung her partner Carly to take her up to New Plymouth behind the ambulance. When she arrived at the hospital I was on the bed ready to push. My little 12 year old brother was with her and got shoved out the door with his iPad and told to wait – Poor bloody boy had to listen to me yelling and screaming. Carly, got stuck in the corner with her back to me, looking at the wall as white as a ghost unsure what to do. I got asked if I was okay with her in the room and that was fine – I was clearly far more worried about the baby I was trying to get out, Hah!

At about 1.45am I started pushing. I was pushing so dam hard I thought I was about to pee myself. Turns out that was my waters breaking! What a weird sensation that was! I don’t really know what I was expecting but it just felt like a balloon popping, full with water. It felt like it went everywhere but apparently, it doesn’t.

Then came the pushing. All I remember was my mum saying to me, do not push through your face, push like you are trying to take a big shit. That was the best advice anyone could have given me – Hah! The pain, well that was a completely new level. I don’t even know how to explain it. If it’s not the contractions making you want to curl over it’s the fact a baby’s head is trying to come out of your vag! I feel like it was a massive burning sensation and told everyone I couldn’t do it but they all kept saying ‘it’s too late now’!

By this time I had Ben on one arm, Carly on the other and a midwife on each leg while mum ran back and forth changing cold flannels on my forehead. Massive up’s to them all, because we had a good system going and I could not have done it without their support! I think I shocked Ben and Carly with the strength I had, nearly pulling them over while pushing. After a long 27 minutes of excruciating pain – Harlee-Jae Maree Patterson was born on the 12th of September at 2.12am.

The absolute relief as soon as she was out was amazing. It was like all my pain was gone just like that! My placenta came out super easily which I was amazed by because many people told me this part was really hard! Then, I noticed my mum disappear from the room in a panic and my midwife hit the emergency button. She calmly let me know I was having a little haemorrhage. I didn’t really think anything of it until some doctors and nurses came running in. Luckily, as I said earlier, my midwife was well prepared and because I had the IV in, I was quickly given some drugs and I was okay. Later on my midwife had told me the other midwife on had said she was over exaggerating putting an IV in just because my mum was a bleeder – well look who came out on the better side! So grateful I had a midwife not willing to take any risks!

After all that manic I finally got to focus on the fact I finally had my healthy little girl! She was and still is so perfect! She was 8lb 3oz and couldn’t fit any of her newborn clothes I had packed. So mumma’s make sure you do pack that next size up just in case!

We did however, still have to travel up to Taranaki Base Hospital because I had haemorrhaged and they wanted to monitor me. I was a bit guttered about this because I wanted to stay in Hawera close to my family but it was all about what was safest! I really don’t know where the time went but I think we arrived there around 6am.

So just like that we had our beautiful little girl! It was definitely a hard challenge but it was an amazing experience! A lot of people say it is such a beautiful thing but I’m going to be honest – I don’t think pushing a massive baby out of a tiny hole is beautiful at all. Don’t get me wrong it is absolutely miraculous but in no way is that beautiful. Ben describes it as if you were to imagine your favourite toy is being demolished in front of you! Hah, sorry Ben but in another four months we both are going to experience this again and I am petrified! Second time around makes me so much more nervous because I know what is ahead!

I hope I haven’t terrified any mums to be, or scared anyone with my blog! Sorry that it got a bit long but I didn’t want to miss any details! Thanks for reading and I hope you’re back next week to read some more of what I have to say. Don’t be afraid to flick me a message via email, facebook or Instagram, until next time.

Lace xxx

To the mum’s who are hurting on Mother’s Day…

Mother’s Day. The day of the year, we as children take the time to honour our mums. The day we get to thank mum for all she has done, from the great advice in life to doing the washing and cleaning for us for all those years.  I don’t think we really realise what the word mum actually covers… Many people like to think that being a mum makes you just a mum but that, you are far from. You are also an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, photographer, counsellor, taxi, event planner, ghost/monster buster and we can’t forget the trusty ATM! While being all of these things plus more, you do it 24/7, no questions asked, just because you’re a mum and you’re proud to be!

So, here is to you, the mum of two or the mum or five. You deserve all the happiness today, whether it be from a cooked breakfast in bed or a handmade card with just the words ‘I love you’. Take this day to appreciate yourself and all you do for your amazing families. Remember we all have bad days and we all question if we are good mums sometimes but the answer is, YES, you are! However you decide to be a mum, it’s awesome and you’re awesome! You are the best mum, so don’t be so hard on yourself – be happy with yourself every day, not just Mother’s day! But for today be selfish and let the kids and your partner/hubby spoil you because its your day!! So, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE RAD MUMS OUT THERE!

However, there’s a special kind of mum I want to acknowledge today. The mums a lot of us seem to forget – not on purpose or because we don’t care but because it is often not spoken of or we are all just very unaware. For these mums, today doesn’t mean flowers or breakfast in bed or handmade cards. Today is a sad and harsh reminder that one of their children or their only child is no longer here. These special mums are mums of angel’s and today is a day filled with tears, heartache and what used to be.

Most of these mums choose to put their brave face on when deep down their heart is aching. Most of these mums are hoping someone will remember and just say ‘hey, you know that special someone in heaven is thinking of you today’. If you are one of these mums, I want you to know, that you are not alone and it’s okay to be sad today. Don’t ever feel guilty for feeling this pain for you should never have had to endure something so bad. Don’t feel like you need the permission to cry. If you need to cry a river or shed a few quiet tears during the day, don’t try to stop yourself – you’re allowed to feel grief and pain. Don’t pretend everything is okay – if you are hurting allow yourself to feel that, because bottling all of these emotions away is only going to hurt you more.

Let today be a day of letting your guard down but also a day of finding some joy of a horrible situation. May you find even though your angel took so much of you with them, you still find happiness – whether it be from your other lovely children or just family and friends. May you find even though your heart has been broken a thousand times; you still have so much love to give. May you realise you’re so caring and loving, that’s why your heart longs so bad to see the one you have lost. May the memories you hold so close to your heart be a form of a card or gift from heaven. In this day of pain, know you are so loved and so cherished and someone (even if it’s just me) is thinking of you today.

The reason I really care and feel for these mums is because I’ve watched my own mum be an angel’s mum for the past eight, nearly nine years. My younger sister passed away on the 18th of June 2008 at the young age of seven and since that day our lives have never been the same. I won’t go into too much detail as I believe her story effecting my life deserves its own blog post one day in the near future. My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour in September ’07 and passed away a short nine months later. In this time I watched my mum become a complete rock for our family. She was the glue that held us together. She kept all those mum titles under control while also having time to remember my brother Jayden and I as my Dad was my sister’s full time carer. As a 12-13 year old at the time I didn’t understand how much she was really doing and holding together for our family but now as a mother, I can’t believe how strong she kept.

Now she is a bereaved mother – she’s endured the unimaginable, yet still keeps going because she is strong and no one can take away the love she has for my brother and I and now also her grandchildren. She still has bad days when she misses my sister so deeply but she will stand tall and continue to move forward because she chooses to honour my sister. She has taught me so many things – she has taught me that even in the hardest times, there is a reason to keep moving forward. She has taught me there are no limits on what you can do no matter what life decides to throw at you. She has helped me become the mother I am today. Mum, please know I am forever grateful of all you do and all you have suffered. You are truly an inspiration and if I can even become half the mother you have been to me – I’ve made it. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing one of my own but I can imagine the massive hole that is left in your heart. So know from me, from Jayden and from your angel Jackson Jae – we all love you so much and know Jackson really does appreciate all you did and continue to do to honour her memory. Happy Mother’s Day Mum – You deserve a day of leisure and love.   

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Please if you know of a mum of an angel baby or child, take a moment of your day to remember them because your little bit of time to acknowledge them could be all they need to help them get through a very tough day. If you want to go that little bit further, I’ve done these couple of things just as a sweet reminder. Get flowers or cupcakes delivered from their angel – Bare in mind it will probably bring tears but I can guarantee it will be bitter sweet tears. Write a nice card with a quote or letter from heaven – Such a small gesture but it can mean oh so much to that mum. Buy a piece of significant jewellery – I have often done this for my mum as she has a Pandora bracelet and there is always a nice charm to add for special events like an angel or their initials.

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So again HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! You are all awesome and angel mumma’s you guys are so strong and amazing. I hope everyone has enjoyed their mother’s day whether it has been spent with everyone you love or if someone special is missing. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog post, I hoped it has helped someone out there today. Come back next Sunday for another blog but in the meantime keep up with us on Facebook and Instagram!

Lace xxx

THE FIRST 12 WEEKS

IT’S POSITIVE!

My first pregnancy with Harlee-Jae came as a total surprise. Ben and I had only been together for a short three months but life was good apart from the fact we were still living a long distance relationship. I hadn’t been feeling myself and started noticing I was getting up a number of times a night to pee which was definitely out of the ordinary for me. My period was about a week late but I have always had irregular periods so I wasn’t alarmed. I started sneezing and getting this weird cramping every time, so as the good wannabe doctor I am, I jumped on to good old doctor google for a hand, only to find out this was a really common pregnancy symptom. It wasn’t till now that I thought about being pregnant and connected the dots but I was still in denial.

The next morning I woke up and couldn’t stop thinking about the what if’s. Ben was three hours away and I wasn’t too keen on springing the ‘I think I might be pregnant’ on him so took matters into my own hands. Remembering I live in a very small town the chances of me running into someone while buying a pregnancy test were super high. I ran into the local countdown and probably had it written all over my face, however off I went and got a massive block of choc (great size for a disguise by the way) and my pregnancy test!

I got home to a house full – that’s what I get for still living at home I suppose! But off I went into the bathroom and did the test. Just like that, not even a three minute wait, there was two lines, straight away. I paused and freaked so decided my best option was to go grab my mums partner and tell her. Of course she didn’t believe me and thought it was a great joke until a couple of minutes later mum was home for lunch and bowled on in and said nope that’s a real pregnancy test and looks pretty positive to me! We all gave it about half an hour to sink in and decided the only logical thing to do was to go buy two more pregnancy tests which also came back positive!

Then I remembered I had Ben to tell. I decided I couldn’t wait it out till I’d see him next so video called him instead. I knew Ben wanted kids one day so that didn’t scare me it was more that we had only been together for a short time. Luckily, his reaction was great and he was happy – massive weight off my shoulders knowing I had his full support.

I sat down with mum and sorted a midwife and worked out when I may have conceived. I really had no idea as I was on the pill and had never had any scares before, the pill had always been so good to me until now. It wasn’t till I remembered that I was on antibiotics at the end of November and that little thing the doctors tell you about the pill not working when you’re on antibiotics, they aren’t lying – Ha! Funny thing is I was on antibiotics for an infection for a graze on my knee from me getting slightly too drunk at a concert and falling over – so the classic joke we have now is ‘Lacey fell over and got pregnant’……..literally!

Baby Number two also came as a massive shock! I had Harlee-Jae on September the 12th 2016 and bleed for six weeks or so, then I was good so back on the pill I went. I wasn’t really in any kind of a rush to get crazy in the bedroom because I was still slightly traumatised from labour but I knew the time would come. I was on the pill for around two weeks and then I got my period again but it lingered on for a good three weeks, I figured it was just my body and hormones adjusting to my post pregnant self.

I did take extra precautions when we decided it was time to give it a go again because I was happy with our little family of three for now but one time and I literally mean one time when I put all my trust back in to just the pill – it was obviously not working.

Remembering all my very first symptoms with Harlee was fresh because it wasn’t that long ago. I knew something wasn’t right but I think I didn’t want to believe it so constantly put off thinking about it. One night it really got to me and I remembered I had a spare pregnancy test from when I had Harlee so thought stuff it, I’ll do it. This time it wasn’t as quick but there was a very faint second line so what do all good daughters do? Send a picture of it to my trusty mum to see if she thinks it has two lines. Sure enough I was pregnant for the second time but this time I also had a three month old.

Ben was on night shift and I decided my best option was to tell him in the morning when he got home. He laughed and thought I was joking but soon came to realise it was no joke. This time I brought one of those handy clear blue digital tests, that tell you how far along you are and from that I had a pretty rough idea that I was very early on and around three weeks pregnant.

THE EMOTIONS

I don’t think it matters whether it’s the first time or the fifth time you find out you are pregnant, I feel like I would always have a week or maybe even month of ‘am I really pregnant?’ Morning sickness doesn’t usually kick in straight away so you generally feel pretty normal, just not really yourself – if that even makes sense! :L

Your hormones are beginning to change and things can seem a way bigger deal than they actually are, just remember this is totally normal! You’re having doubts? You don’t know if you will be a good mum? You wonder if you’re even ready for this. The answer is YES. Don’t get me wrong, in some situations it is better to way up your options but I can guarantee you if you do decide to keep your baby and become a mum, as soon as your baby comes, your motherly instincts will kick in. It will be hard, there will be bad days but there is always light at the end of the tunnel and the rewards you receive watching your little person grow are amazing and indescribable!

MISCARRIAGE ANXIETY

I don’t even know if this is a real thing but for me in both pregnancies it was. Twelve weeks is a really, really, really long time. It feels like it takes an absolute eternity to hit that safe zone. With my first pregnancy I was super excited that I really struggled to keep it a secret and mostly everyone close to me knew by the time I was 8 weeks pregnant. Second time was completely different I had told Ben, my mum and her partner. Right up until I was 11 weeks they were the only ones who knew!  I was just as happy for number two but for some reason it was a lot easier to keep to myself.

Hitting each week of pregnancy was such a relief for me, like another week down only five to go. It’s crazy how much you can love something you have only just found out about, whether it was planned or not. The reality is no one wants to lose their baby. I was lucky enough too have healthy little babies at both my 12 week scans and I am so thankful for that! I really feel for any mum who has an angel baby or babies! It takes a strong women to get through those hard times and you should all remember that.

Try not to stress this too much – as hard as I know it is! They say that only 10-20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. It is still a lot but on a positive note, that means you have an 80-90 percent chance of having a healthy baby! Try to keep as healthy as possible, with as less stress as you can and get lots of sleep to help your little babe grow nice and healthy!

MORNING SICKNESS

Morning sickness – A part of pregnancy that makes you feel like total s**t. The thing I hated about morning sickness was for people that didn’t know you were pregnant, just thought you had become a lazy piece of work. However, remember you are far from that! You are on the start of your journey growing a healthy little baby.

Morning sickness comes in many different shapes and forms for everyone! For me I became extremely tired, 24/7. I could easily nap 2-3 times a day and still be tired. I forever felt nauseous, didn’t vomit, just constantly felt nauseous. It was horrible. I completely lost my appetite – went off meat and most veges, which is obviously not ideal either. I was a hormonal piece of work so massive ups to Ben for being able to handle me not once but twice – Ha! 😛

My best advice is to keep hydrated! Keep that water flowing as often as possible. I found going for a morning walk in the fresh air was always a great way to start my day and I always seemed to have more energy and just feel better in general. Try eat good nutritional foods but if you were like me and couldn’t get anything down, my motto was any food is good food!

ANNOUNCEMENT

The exciting part of the long first 12 weeks is finally here! The way you announce your new little bundle of joy to world. There is so many awesome and different ways you can do this and with the help of Pinterest or good old Uncle google you can usually find the perfect way for you.

Harlee-Jae’s announcement was done with our fur baby – Kiara. Its better if I show you the photo below.

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Baby number two’s announcement was done with all of us as a family, like a little maths equation and here’s the photo below.

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I love getting creative with announcements, such a special memory and a cool thing to show your kids when they get older!

I think that pretty much covers my first 12 weeks of pregnancy! I hope I remembered to cover everything – baby brain :P. If you have any questions about anything, don’t hesitate to message me and ask!! I hope you’ve enjoyed my first blog and come back for more, sorry if it got a bit long! I’ll be posting a new blog every Sunday night!

Lace xxx

About me – First blog

Welcome to the start of my blog! My name is Lacey, mostly known as Lace and I come from little old Taranaki, New Zealand.

Welcome to the start of my blog! My name is Lacey, mostly known as Lace and I come from little old Taranaki, New Zealand. Before becoming a full-time mum I spent my days as a Beauty Therapist. I loved this job but nothing quite compares to being a mum! I’m a straight up person who doesn’t care what others think so be prepared for very real and honest views. I must tell you english wasn’t one of my strong points in school so bare with the bad grammar… sorry mum. 😛

I’m the mother of a beautiful baby girl – Harlee-Jae who is currently 8 months old. I’m also pregnant with little babe number two who is due on September 22nd, 10 days after Harlee-Jae turns one! I know what you’re thinking – shes crazy! Yes I am but hey we just roll with whatever life throws at us.

I thought why not take you all on this wild journey with us with the hopes of helping other awesome mamas out there! Life is hard as mum – we are constantly judged on our choices, have many ‘standards’ to live up too all while being perfect. I believe every mum is different and it truly does take a village to raise a child. I’ll be sharing my honest take on being a young mother with the good and the bad and my tips and tricks that I’ve learnt along the way.

If I can help even one mum with my blog posts, then i’ll be happy. Enjoy this crazy ride with me and take it all in. This is just a short and sweet taster of whats to come as I don’t want to give it all away! I hope you all enjoy what I have to share with you and feel free to ever message me via facebook or email if you have any personal questions!

Lace xxx